as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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