some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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