please come you make the beer taste better
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
