What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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