you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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