I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
