If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
They took my balls.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
