Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
