i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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