dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
