I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
