he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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