so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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