So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
A bitchslap is in order.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
