she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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