operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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