Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
