I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
