Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
