The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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