Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
