discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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