Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
