so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
