Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
