it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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