My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
