Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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