More tranny stories later!
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
