If that was your dad, he is hot
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
