then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
You left your phone here
Wait...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
