Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
