she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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