I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
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