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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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