We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
