I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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