Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
A+ Viking dick
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
