Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
