How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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