why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You can't just leave with hair like that
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I need to align my fucking chakras
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
