call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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