me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
