As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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