I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
