I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
