YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
