butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
