Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
