Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
