I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
