obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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