that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
