Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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