I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
