No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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