Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize