we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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