I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My vagina is very pro this idea
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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