dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
