We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
